Edward
What the hell just happened here?
I had scared Isabella. I knew that, but then again, she knew how I was before she decided that she was going to come with me to Italy.
She had seen me kill before. The lightning bolt incident springs to mind. And not to mention that she knows I kill humans on a regular basis.
So what could have sparked this reaction from her?
Why did she get so worked up over the fact that I had killed James and Victoria? I let the third one go. Does that count for anything? It should seeing as I’ve never let anyone go before.
It just makes me wonder what she wants from me.
She knows what I am and what I do. She knows that I kill other creatures that walk on this planet, including vampires. It’s my job to keep them in check. She knows that I kill humans to sustain myself. She knows all of this and yet when she sees it, she doesn’t seem able to comprehend what’s going on in front of her. She knows all about me because Carlisle had explained some of my history and I had filled in a little more. Not enough but still, it was more than others knew.
Most of all, she knew that I love her.
Did she expect me to change? I couldn’t change. Even if I was capable of it, I wouldn’t want to.
This is who and what I am. I might not know where I come from, but this creature is who I am.
She said that she couldn’t live without me but she couldn’t live with the monster that called me its home.
Well, she was going to have to get used to doing one or the other.
Because the monster isn’t just inside of me.
The monster is me.
Sunday 23 August 2009
Saturday 22 August 2009
Under Your Spell - Chapter 6: Edward
Edward
Witch.
The word glared out at me, black on white, garish and bold.
Someone knew about us.
Or about me, at least.
And that meant that they knew about my family. If they knew about me being a witch, then they would surely know about us all being witches. We were all in danger if someone knew.
At least, judging by what happened to the original families anyway.
Standing next to me, Bella was shaking with what I assumed was fear. I hated seeing her that way, but all I could see was red. Someone was inadvertently threatening my family and that I would not tolerate.
Edward, what’s going on up there? Jasper shouted through his thoughts. Bella’s shit scared and you’re extremely pissed. To the dangerous level. And you know what happens what you get like that. Calm down! What’s going on?
I did know what happened when I got too angry. It was like I lost control. Last time that happened was before Bella left and the forest surrounding the cliff-top of the town of La Push on the mainland hadn’t been the same since. Of course, we had attempted to rectify the damage that I had caused, but the new trees we had planted and sped up the growth of didn’t compare to the fallen majesty of their predecessors. But I couldn’t control it. It was as though someone pulled a curtain of red over my eyes and nothing else mattered.
But I had to stay in control now.
I didn’t want to lose control in front of Bella. She could get hurt and that wasn’t something I wanted. I never wanted to hurt her. It would kill me to know that she was hurting. Especially because of me.
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, turning to face Bella as I did so.
“Bella.” I whispered, and she looked at me, her gaze worried and scared. “Do you know who left this?”
She nodded and gulped, tears forming in her eyes. I hadn’t seen her this scared before and I hated knowing that someone was instilling fear like this into her.
Witch.
The word glared out at me, black on white, garish and bold.
Someone knew about us.
Or about me, at least.
And that meant that they knew about my family. If they knew about me being a witch, then they would surely know about us all being witches. We were all in danger if someone knew.
At least, judging by what happened to the original families anyway.
Standing next to me, Bella was shaking with what I assumed was fear. I hated seeing her that way, but all I could see was red. Someone was inadvertently threatening my family and that I would not tolerate.
Edward, what’s going on up there? Jasper shouted through his thoughts. Bella’s shit scared and you’re extremely pissed. To the dangerous level. And you know what happens what you get like that. Calm down! What’s going on?
I did know what happened when I got too angry. It was like I lost control. Last time that happened was before Bella left and the forest surrounding the cliff-top of the town of La Push on the mainland hadn’t been the same since. Of course, we had attempted to rectify the damage that I had caused, but the new trees we had planted and sped up the growth of didn’t compare to the fallen majesty of their predecessors. But I couldn’t control it. It was as though someone pulled a curtain of red over my eyes and nothing else mattered.
But I had to stay in control now.
I didn’t want to lose control in front of Bella. She could get hurt and that wasn’t something I wanted. I never wanted to hurt her. It would kill me to know that she was hurting. Especially because of me.
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, turning to face Bella as I did so.
“Bella.” I whispered, and she looked at me, her gaze worried and scared. “Do you know who left this?”
She nodded and gulped, tears forming in her eyes. I hadn’t seen her this scared before and I hated knowing that someone was instilling fear like this into her.
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